Time changes people. And with them changes the relationships they are in. It is therefore not uncommon that the person, who you are in a relationship with today, may choose to be with someone different tomorrow. What seems so easy to write about, is actually very difficult to accept and cope with.
Here is some help on how to deal with your emotions when a loving relationship comes to an end:
Accept the reality
At first, it is natural to be shocked and surprised when a loved one decides to leave you and move out. People find it difficult to accept the fact that in a relationship your partner does have the right to choose. And opting out is a choice. The process of healing your pain will begin the sooner you accept and allow your partner to exercise their choice.
Let it out
Cry. It helps. All you need to make sure is that you do so in privacy and thus retain the dignity of the emotion you feel. If it is anger which you feel, allow yourself to be angry and upset. Suppressing it will make it persist. But remember, your anger should be fair and rational – that is very difficult. For learning more on how to manage your anger click here.
Connect with your family and old friends
While you were busy being happy in your relationship, you will realize that on many occasions you have forgotten your immediate family, cousins, friends, classmates and loved ones who have always been there for you. It is a great way to deal with your grief and loss by connecting to them. It will surprise you pleasantly to discover the selfless and unconditional love of your family.
Keep your mind occupied
The biggest hurdle people face when going through a break-up is their helplessness and inability to control their thought. It keeps going back to what hurts most. Keeping yourself occupied with your work, your hobby or any activity you enjoy is a good way to deal with this helplessness.
Look after yourself
People take ‘passive revenge’ on their lost love by denying and neglecting their needs as a response to emotional pain. Take responsibility to look after yourself. Remember that there are others who look upon you to be there for them. And to fulfill that, you need to be your hundred percent, physically and emotionally.
Take that trip
In a relationship, since togetherness takes precedence over everything else, people usually suppress those needs which are for their sole pleasure like going on a road trip with your friends, going for a trek etc. Now is the best time for you to pursue that trip!
It is a good opportunity to look inside yourself and discover what you have not connected with in a long time. Use this time for self-growth and self-renewal. Many people like to go for a complete image makeover to put things behind. You may not need to do something so drastic, but little changes will help you to move forward.
Help someone else
When you feel helpless, try to help someone else. When you motivate yourself to focus on someone else’s needs, you will find it easier to overcome your own sorrow.
Take the learning
A break-up of a relationship is not a failure. It is a feedback of what works for you and what does not. Evaluate your assumptions, expectations and mistakes so that you move ahead with greater maturity.
Be optimistic and move on
Finally, it is most essential for you to look into the future with renewed spirit and vigor as tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life, where good things are waiting to happen!
A Freelance Journalist, Entrepreneur and Philanthropist. Editor-in-Chief of www.233times.com. A contributory writer for Ghanaian Chronicle Newspaper. An alumnus of Adisadel College where he read General Arts. He holds first degree in Bachelor of Arts from the University of Ghana; Political Science (major) and History (minor). He has also pursued MSc Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) and Energy with Public Relations (PR) at the Robert Gordon University in the United Kingdom. His mentors are Rupert Murdoch, Warren Buffet, Sam Jonah, Kwaku Sakyi Addo and Piers Morgan