10 things to expect if AC Milan & Inter merge

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258214hp2Goal takes a light-hearted look at what could happen if the two hated rivals actually did the unthinkable

SATIRE
By Carlo Garganese & Kris Voakes

Super agent Mino Raiola was controversially quoted as saying this week that bitter Serie A rivals AC Milan and Inter should merge in order to rejoin the European elite and challenge for Champions League glory once again.

“You could unite the two teams, Inter and Milan, who currently find themselves in difficulties,” said Raiola.

“By combining forces, they could break down Real, Barcelona and the other giants.”

Below are 10 satirical things to expect should Milan and Inter merge:

1. Inter players will get to experience European football.

 

2. The San Siro pitch will only need relaying half as often.

 

3. Kevin Constant will be sent back to Chievo where he belongs.

 

4. Massimo Moratti won’t need another Calciopoli to win the Scudetto again, and fans will boast about their deserved 36 titles.

 

5. Silvio Berlusconi will get twice the amount of public support when he has his next Bunga Bunga-induced political scrape.

 

6. John Carew won’t be considered as a new striker.

 

7. Mario Balotelli won’t have any inflatable bananas waved at him.

 

8. Inter fans will get to see some Italians on their team.

 

9. Javier Zanetti will fit in with Milan’s long-held youth policy.

 

10. Andrea Ranocchia will finally get the number of first-team games he deserves … zero.

 

GOAL

ABOUT: Nana Kwesi Coomson

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A Freelance Journalist, Entrepreneur and Philanthropist. Editor-in-Chief of www.233times.com. A contributory writer for Ghanaian Chronicle Newspaper. An alumnus of Adisadel College where he read General Arts. He holds first degree in Bachelor of Arts from the University of Ghana; Political Science (major) and History (minor). He has also pursued MSc Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) and Energy with Public Relations (PR) at the Robert Gordon University in the United Kingdom. His mentors are Rupert Murdoch, Warren Buffet, Sam Jonah, Kwaku Sakyi Addo and Piers Morgan

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