Have you ever been dragged to a bar on a night when you were so not feeling attractive? But by some miracle, you were getting more male attention than you do on the nights you spend two hours doing your makeup?
Here’s a secret: there are plenty of things guys notice immediately, other than your looks, that can overpower any bad hair day:
It’s okay if your hair is in a bun and you’re in workout pants and a hoodie: just be clean. When you’re clean, you look healthy and health looks beautiful.
Being game for anything
What good is a gorgeously put together girl who won’t dance to the live music? Or try the funny food truck outside? Or play the messy, loud drinking game? If you bring the good time, or at least are always looking for it, men can’t help but want to be around you.
A little girliness
If you really are elegant and delicate (which you can totally be while still being independent and confident), that will shine through even if you’re in sweat pants. Men love a woman who isn’t afraid to act a little “girly,” and doesn’t feel the need to put up a tough front.
Do you wait forever to have a server get you a glass of water? Or do you dash behind the bar and serve yourself a glass from the pitcher? Do you wait for an open cab on a super busy night, or do you ask a couple in a van cab if you can share the ride? Men love seeing that you can take care of yourself.
Patience and positivity
Men notice if you bark at the bartender, “Get me a Vodka Tonic,” or if you politely flag him down and say, “Hey. How are you doing? Could I please get a Vodka Tonic?” and then you calmly smile and wait, even if it takes twenty minutes. When you’re at a bar or party, there will be plenty of opportunity to get aggravated and negative, and once you let that start, the night’s ruined. Men appreciate a woman who wants to enjoy things as they are.
Think of the hoards of people you pass in the street, or even stand shoulder to shoulder with at the bar who look at you as if they’re looking right past you. If you hold eye contact with a guy while speaking to him, and really look at him, he will feel attracted to you more than he will to a perfectly made-up girl who looks all around the room during a conversation.
When you approach the bar at the exact same time as someone else, do you let that person go ahead, or argue that you were there first? When a server is walking towards you with hands full of plates, do you step aside and make room for him, or make him find his way through the crowd? Men pay attention to situations in which you have a clear choice to be selfish or generous.
Men are suckers for a smile! And every smile is a great smile. If you tell yourself you’re happy to be somewhere and to just be alive, you can’t help but have a big, beautiful smile on your face. Everybody is attracted to joy.
Nobody is perfect and men know that. They’re not looking for a woman who is perfect: they’re looking for one who acknowledges and loves her own flaws and gives herself praise for her strengths and accomplishments. It’s hard not to love someone who loves herself.
Something to say
If you’re looking for a quality man, then speak up in conversations! It’s okay to disagree with something a guy says. It’s even okay to be more educated than him on a certain subject. It’s okay to show that you’re a downright genius! Don’t keep quiet to make him feel intelligent—a good man will love that you’re proud of what you know.
A little attitude
Deep down, all men want a girl who will put them in their place. They want to be able to act stupid sometimes, but they don’t want a girlfriend who just giggles or stays silent. If a guy is acting like a jerk, sometimes he’s just waiting to find the girl who will say something about it.
Men love a sweet but subtle scent on a woman. Avoid floral or strong perfumes, and get ones that smell earthy or like candy.
Your love for your friends
No guy wants to talk to the girl who is ignoring her friends, eagerly looking around the room to catch a guy’s attention. A guy wants to see that you love being around your friends, and you engage with the people you go out with. If you are enjoying conversation and laughing with your friends, men will be drawn to you.
You ask questions
So many girls have the mindset that men are supposed to impress them, and they let men do all the talking. But men are humans too! They want to have others get to know them, they want to share things about themselves, and they want the chance to brag a little. If you make a point to ask a guy questions about himself, you’ll immediately stand out from other women he talks to that night.