CHRIS Brown admitted he considered killing himself after attacking Rihanna in 2009.
Tearing up, the singer confessed the horrifying assault changed his life forever and seven years on, his actions on that night still haunt him, reports The Sun.
Speaking in the trailer for his new documentary, Welcome To My Life, he said: “I went from being on top of the world, number one songs, being kind of like America’s sweetheart, to being public enemy number one.
“I felt like a fu**ing monster. I was thinking about suicide and everything else. I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t eating. I just was getting high.”
His mother, Joyce Hawkins, also talks about the incident. She said: “That was the worst day of my life and probably his life … I felt like I was going to lose my child.”
The pair got into a row after leaving a pre-Grammy party in LA. The argument started in Chris’ Lamborghini over a text message from one of Chris’ exes.
Chris punched Rihanna and bit her as well as choking her. Images of her face leaked online and shocked fans around the world.
The 26-year-old was sentenced to five years of probation following the assault.
The pair got back together in 2012 when Rihanna said at the time she thought she could change him.
At the time, she told Vanity Fair: “I was very protective of him. I felt that people didn’t understand him. Even after. But you know, you realise after a while that in that situation you’re the enemy.
“You want the best for them, but if you remind them of their failures, or if you remind them of bad moments in their life, or even if you say I’m willing to put up with something, they think less of you — because they know you don’t deserve what they’re going to give.
“And if you put up with it, maybe you are agreeing that you [deserve] this, and that’s when I finally had to say, ‘Uh-oh, I was stupid thinking I was built for this.’ Sometimes you just have to walk away.”
In the trailer, he described their relationship as a “fairytale”.
The trailer also shows Chris’ rise to stardom and stars including Usher, Jennifer Lopez, Rita Ora and Jamie Foxx all appear in the documentary to praise his success.
Despite his fall from grace, the R&B singer reveals he thinks his star will rise again.
He added: “If there was ever a doubt in your mind that Chris Brown was done, he was finished? I wouldn’t bet on it.”
A Freelance Journalist, Entrepreneur and Philanthropist. Editor-in-Chief of www.233times.com. A contributory writer for Ghanaian Chronicle Newspaper. An alumnus of Adisadel College where he read General Arts. He holds first degree in Bachelor of Arts from the University of Ghana; Political Science (major) and History (minor). He has also pursued MSc Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) and Energy with Public Relations (PR) at the Robert Gordon University in the United Kingdom. His mentors are Rupert Murdoch, Warren Buffet, Sam Jonah, Kwaku Sakyi Addo and Piers Morgan