|No one considered how we felt, what we were going through. Baby clothes and baby food bought for our babies became presents to be given at christening and naming ceremonies we attended for others.
People have a way of looking at you without talking, yet, you instinctively know what they intend asking – “When will we attend yours?”
Desperation has a way of taking you places you never should have gone in the first place, reducing you to the mercies of charlatans, liars, lustful men disguised as men of God.
We (My dearest husband and I) had to endure ‘spiritual bath and consultation’ together, and one can imagine how we rejoiced when we were told we were ‘spiritually pregnant’. We were also given concoction drink, only to get home and bleed my guts out.
Then, my mum started bugging us about a supposed good Doctor she has been told about. She hounded us to go see him.
Having accepted to see this Doctor, I was ready to tell him my piece of mind -let’s just say, he became our counselor, he told us to stop stressing after we had done all tests and been given more fertility drugs to take just to boost our system. Some were obnoxious, some gave mood swings and some were extremely expensive, but through it all, we had each other.
I bumped into a family friend’s wife; we got talking and she advised me to seek help, specifically help from her church. She told me how I will be made to go to the sea and pray at 12 midnight, how I would have to buy cartons of beer and stuff for purification then finally, how the spirits of my parents and hubby’s parents would be summoned for questions on why we could not have children.
I was shocked, hurt, and angry; agitated over the fact that, anyone and everyone could talk any how to me because of a situation I had no control over. I got home, wept, cried and asked God, why? I even said Hannah’s prayer, moved on with my life and totally lived it to the fullest, baby or no baby!
It’s amazing how God works; exactly 37 weeks after that episode, our first miracle arrived.
Interestingly, it took another 6 years; years filled with people asking when number two will arrive. It’s amazing how God works; exactly 37 weeks after that, our first miracle arrived, it took another 6 years of people asking when number two will arrive.
Our son was growing up without a sibling, and one day, my heart broke, when my son came home with an assignment about families and siblings, and his classmates were teasing him about having no sibling – he was hurt!
I told him, that one day, it will happen! I remember how every morning we prayed about it and he was very specific in his prayer, he wanted a brother he can play ball with.
We endured two more miscarriages before our second miracle arrived; another boy!
Nine (9) months on, God has an amazing sense of humor, and knows how to let his goodness and mercies manifest. A third boy was on its way, a baby we call, ‘Miracle’!
I was sick for 35 weeks, I kept losing weight, I had ketones, my cervix opened, I lost blood, our tiny miracle and I fought for our lives after a near-death experience.
By the grace of God, Baby Miracle, our third blessing came, a gorgeous boy.
Quite typical, we have been asked if we rue the feeling of not having a girl. Oh, considering all we’ve been through, people still find stuff to talk about!
I found my purpose, as God’s advocate first, as an advocate and source of comfort for women going through similar experiences; as a wife, mother, after God’s heart and as a friend!
Dear couples going through the hard road of having no baby; know that you have a purpose – be each other’s friend.
It is easier when you are united against the world. When you are depressed, talk about it, do not feel ashamed to find help, live your life to the fullest, hate not, envy not, and give your worries to God!
A tigress, who has earned her stripes!