‘Anytime I saw her, I felt like hitting her with my bare hands. The worst was when I saw her with another man, which she did intentionally to make me jealous. She was a ‘gold digger’ as she wasted my money and time. In fact I was nearly robbed because of her. I really hate her now’…. a broken man’s confession of his feeling after a bitter break-up’.
Broken heart is an emotional pain that is experienced by an individual due to a disappointment in a relationship. Different people react to this pain differently. It can be described as an excruciating pain, which one feels on the chest. You may even feel like your world is coming to an end.
It can cause you to cry or scream sometimes, just to give you a sense of relief. It is more of a disappointment than a broken heart as a there is nothing like a heart that is broken. This subject matter is very essential and must be handled with extreme care by those close to a victim. Many people survive broken heart whiles not.
5 Ways to Manage Broken Heart
§ Let go by forgiving
Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts one can give to him or herself when hurting. First of all you release the offender of their wrong doing: and secondly you free yourself from emotional pain.
In order to recover from a disappointment in a relationship, forgive and let go. Remember it is the very person who is close to you, that would hurt you most.
Avoid being bitter because in most cases, the person who offended you is: either not thinking about you or is not even remorseful and probably living their lives as if nothing happened.
Your life and health is more important, therefore you should concentrate on yourself and move on with your life. Carol G. expresses that ‘the moment I forgave my ex-boyfriend, I felt like a burden had been lifted off me.
I felt very light within and free from every pain I had experienced. Never hold on to such a pain, because it is just not worth it’
§ Avoid sharing your disappointment
In life, each person encounters a disappointment in one way or the other. Your ability to overcome and go through such challenging times helps to define and shape your life.
Never think you are the first to have experience a broken heart, as there is nothing new under the sun. Avoid spreading your disappointments with anyone you meet, because it is not everyone who smiles with you, who really has your best interest at heart.
Going through disappointment is never easy, but do yourself a favour by staying strong and positive, that once you have life, there is hope for the future. It is not over until you cannot breathe anymore.
Always look on the sunny side of life, remind yourself of the happy times you have experienced in the past, and hope for more of such times to come.
Melinda O. had this to say ‘I told a few friends about my disappointed relationship and the next time I went for lectures, all eyes were on me. I had never felt betrayed in my life.
I decided never to talk to people I do not trust about my personal issues. I had to learn my lesson the hard way’
§ Seek counsel
When in pain one of the ways of surviving is expressing yourself or being heard, by another person.
This is because it helps with the healing process. It is therefore highly recommendable for you to seek the advice of an appropriate counselor.
You must ensure to speak to a trusted person, who would not increase your woes by telling everyone about your problem.
Erold Y. said that ‘I felt very relieved when I finally opened up to speak to my university counselor. His advised helped me to let go of the pain I was holding unto. My parents equally gave me great counsel when I opened up to them. It is always great when you have that kind of closeness with your parents’.
§ Engage in activities that you love
You always have a choice in life; to either be happy or sad, no matter what you may be going through. The truth is someone would give up everything they had, just to be you.
Be content and grateful with your life and make yourself happy. You may have experienced a disappointment, however rise up and move on by engaging in what makes you happy.
It could be anything like reading a book, listening to music, hanging out with family or friends or any sport you enjoy doing. Sometimes you can even start something new such as joining a choir in church or youth group, to counsel other people, by sharing your experience.
Amanda H. ‘I experienced a total new chapter in my life after a major disappointment. Today I am youth tutor counseling and mentoring others and I love doing this. Little did I know that through my pain, I would be a blessing to others. Always have a positive attitude in life, even in the face of frustration’.
There is always something to be grateful and thankful for; the biggest is the gift of life to start with. Stop yourself from entertaining bad or negative thoughts, by controlling what you think about.
Broken heart sometimes is a sign that your relationship was not meant to be, so there is no need to dwell on the past.
Lionel B. ‘I nearly committed suicide after a bitter divorce, had it not been the good counseling I received from my counselors and the support of my family’. It all began when I started having negative thoughts and I never stopped them. I started drinking until I became an alcoholic within a short period of time. I thought I had no reason to live again. One day, I was rushed to the hospital after collapsing due to excess alcohol. After counseling from counselors I decided to let go and move on with my life. My advice is that, never entertain bad thoughts for even a second, just rebuke them and move on with your life’